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The Stories

The myth of the Godzilla Maru was conceived by Tony and Karen Muldoon and by Pete Vanadia as we sailed our slow but steady way from Bermuda to Atlantic City. (OK, we were hoping for NYC, but that's another story). Joe Muldoon produced the the Robert W. Service version.

Where the Kitty Go When the Kitty Go Out spins off of some Washington Irving stuff I heard many years ago.

Wrong Way at the Fair is a true story. I

The Godzilla Maru

On a moonlit night by the Codderstone light,
Our prow bounding out toward the sea,
My watch going well -- from what I could tell --
`Twas all `bout as smooth as could be.
A wind from the west was doing its best
For me and the rest of the crew
When what did I find, just three miles behind
But the freighter, Godzilla Maru.

Now you've all heard your tales of the giant white whales
That could take down a ship with one bite.
Or magnificent squid that easily slid
Schooners below in the night.
Serpents abound all the world `round
But I'd sooner take 'em in two's,
Than to have such a break as to find in my wake
The killer, Godzilla Maru.

Built in the East, a gargantuan beast
Well founded and fitted was she
To carry the stocks off the Japanese docks
Across every ocean and sea.
She'd the deepest of drafts, fore to aft, the world had ever seen,
Five miles in length, with matching strength
And a mile across the beam.

The latest designs of the builders best minds
Went into all of her plans.
To run her and route her, they built a computer
Far smarter than woman or man.
One day in the ocean that ship took a notion
To kill off her captain and crew
And go it alone, through gale and foam
The hunter, Godzilla Maru.

From the Bering Straits to the Horn of Fate
And down to the Tasman Sea,
She went on the hunt, for freighter or junk,
To kill was her main strategy.
For tankers of oil she'd heartily toil,
Since fuel was Priority One.
But frigate or smack she'd joyfully track,
And terminate just for the fun.

So imagine my plight as I stood there that night,
Facing this merciless beast.
Perusing with awe her monstrous maw
Prepared for another night's feast.
I knew aught to do, but to wake up the crew, and quite nearly out of my mind,
Quoth "We're really screwed! The Godzilla Maru, is closing, two miles behind!"

Captain Muldoon was up on deck soon,
With Karen, his loyal first mate.
And the good Coxswain Pete, in shorts and bare feet
Arose to examine our fate.
With speed and travail we set every sail,
To catch any breath of the wind.
Alas, we were blessed with little success,
"A mile, and fast closin' in!"

Then Pete had a thought, and told us "We ought
To try a new strategy, folks.
But no need to hurry, what's the big worry?
Still got some time for a smoke."
So we sat in the back and passed `round the pack
And passed it `round three times again.
Then I looked up (I mean up, up, UP,UP!)
"Two hundred yards, FAST closin' in!!"

We all sat there stunned as ton after ton,
Of freighter came in tight behind.
And Captain Muldoon with words opportune
Quoth, "Say mates, bit of a bind!"
Down to the last of the Fiontar's last gasps
I still didn't know what we'd do.
When Pete gave a shout, "We're comin' about,
To RAM the Godzilla Maru!!"

Like the heel of Achilles or the `gator's soft belly,
Even the toughest have flaws.
I'm tellin' you, son, I was prayin' for one
As we faced that freighter's great jaws.
Then Pete looked around and finally found
A spot that seemed about right.
He pulled on the tiller so we hit that killer
Just `neath her green starboard light.

I guess Lady Luck had just woken up,
For, despite Maru's muscle and might,
She shook and she shattered and sank torn and tattered
Twelve miles off the Codderstone Light.
Now, sick as a dog, I'll mark in the log,
That this night the good Fiontar's crew --
Oh, let it be noted, oft sung and quoted!! --
Sank the Godzilla Maru!!

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